The first time's always the best

I used to Livejournal, but it felt too much like opening my heart up to cyberspace... so I figured "hey, why not just start a regular blog?" So I did. Only this time-- less personal emotions, more observations and bitching. So let's get going.

Today was one of those odd days, the moon's no longer full and everything is just half-cocked crazy instead of teen-wolf howling crazy. I felt like I was observing a lot of things in a more critical way today, but it could just be that it's "hump day" and the week is wearing me out. Either way, I noticed some things... be my sounding board, please-- tell me if I'm out of line.

First off, I despise public transportation. Not the concept, or even the actual ride itself. It's the other people that bother me. I guess you could say I LOVE "mass transit" but HATE "public transportation" as a casualty of semantics. The reality is, no matter what you call it, I can't fucking stand people on their way to wherever it is they go in the morning. Sour faces, too much coffee and cologne stinking up the train, and of course the odd guy who smells like they rolled out of that wet spot under a hospital dumpster (but that guy seems to turn up everywhere, eventually). The train rolls up to the platform, and despite people having waited some 20+ minutes for the train doors to come right in front of them, the assholes who just cut off mothers and children at the turnstile come rushing in front of us who waited, so that they can sneak on the train first and claim their territory. I'm going to assume for a minute that they need this control in their day because, naturally, it's the only thing in their lives they have left to control on their own. That being said, today I said something to the greasy, poorly color-coordinated salesman looking gentleman who cut me off today-- I said "excuse me, buddy (my most hated and condescending fraternal term), but I was here first. I saw you cut off that woman holding her baby. I'm taking this seat." Stunned, he looked like I had ran over his dog and said "jeez, fine". Mission accomplished... except he took the copy of the Metro on the seat that I was eyeing. I guess he thinks he won that "battle" inside his mind.

Let's continue to the single most creepy part of my day--- the actual RIDE to work. If any of you reading this ride the T in Metro Boston, specifically the Green Line, you'll understand this. Amidst the blur of people smelling up my train ride, and my sweating coffee cup sliding all over the filthy train floor, there is one thing that really scares me. The voice on the speakers that we hear every few minutes (or seconds, if you're on the D line). The sound of that real human being's baritone voice being played with robotic delivery, announcing the stops just gives me the chills. It's a vacant, emotionless voice-- and when it says "Hynes Convention Center" it sounds like it's about to cry. Something about that voice... gives me the chills.

I won't be taking the T once I move to a different office location in a few weeks... I'll miss a lot of things about the office I'm in... but that voice, if you can hear it right now... it won't be one of them.

PUNS OF THE DAY

In contrast to my miserable rant, I'd like to end each post with one of my favorite things about my day-- bad puns and jokes. Here are today's "Puns of the Day"

-John McCain is really reaching out to "values voters". The only thing is, the religious right doesn't realize that he really means people whose values are over $5 million when he says "values voters".

-What does a pirate smoke after a lusty romp with a wench? A cigARRRette!!

-(to someone who works at the library) So, do I have to be a member to check you out??


Until next time, take care.

-GR